Thursday, September 20, 2007

Well, I sucked again.

Played pool again tonight and was skunked in three strait. The guys had me play last, at about 11:30 Wednesday night, against this pretty little girl who knew what she was doin'. I did pretty good at first, but got worse with each game. She kept leavin' me without any shots, and when I had things to hit, my aim was usually off. Hell, I never said I could play.

Well, it was a fun evening anyway. I smoke another one of those Taino's and an Ashton while I watched the other guys play, and drank three mugs of the Amber Bock. Denise was there for much of the evening, but then got pissed at me for concentrating too much on the game in stead of her, and looking at the pretty little waitress too many times, and got up and left. Hey, suit yourself. Lookin' is only lookin'. The other guys mostly won, and I got to see some good playin', till I stepped up. Anyway, she'll get over it, and there'll be another day.

The semester is windin' down. I've got one class up to the 1960s and a few others have just started the shootin' in the Civil War. The high school kids are in the last throws of the French and Indian War, about to hear about Wolfe at Quebec. They're about to get deep into the shit that leads up to the Revolution. Fun stuff. I love this job. Just wish I got paid a lot more, and didn't have to teach so friggin' many classes. I taught five today, and I'll do six tomorrow. But hey, the weekend is almost here.

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When I was in Florence this mornin', surfin' Drudge on the computer before class, I saw this story and couldn't believe it. Apparently some little first grade kid was setting up an old fashioned game of "Show and Tell", and the grown-ups found out about it and went ballistic.

The Education Department has investigated claims a six-year-old student ran a "sex club" at an eastern suburban primary school, involving up to half a dozen grade 1 students.

That's right... FIRST GRADE. Six years old!

...One mother said her son, also six, was asked to perform a sex act, and that the alleged perpetrator also exposed his genitals to students.

Following an investigation, the department has admitted that the student exposed students to sexual conversations and proposed activities, but denied the existence of a "sex club". The alleged perpetrator received counseling.

The mother has been unable to make a police report because the law states sexual assault by a child under 10 cannot be prosecuted.

"Victims of a perpetrator who is under the age of 10 should still have the same rights as any other victim of a sexual crime," she said.

Can you be a sexual predator in the first grade? I mean, where the hell is this kid learning this stuff?

The case puts the Brumby Government under pressure to address the problem, barely two months after releasing new procedures guiding parents, teachers and schools on how to respond to allegations of student sexual assault.

The woman is critical of the department's investigation of sexual assault and bullying in schools and has united with parents from four other state schools to form SWAG, the Student Welfare Action Group.

The group will lobby to have the department's Student Critical Incident Advisory Unit removed from the department and established as an independent body, such as the ombudsman's office.

Parents Victoria executive officer Gail McHardy said the case raised concerns about the ability of the current legislation to protect young children. "There's a whole lot of questions around the children who are under 10. If the police can't take a statement, then how can they report their incident and then who takes carriage of it?"

Shadow education minister Martin Dixon, who will meet SWAG next month, said that, while he did not think the critical incident unit should be removed from the department, any investigation should be fair and open.

"The culture (in the department) seems to be one of hiding the problem instead of fixing the problem," he said. There was a "gaping hole" in the regulations, which needed to be re-written.

And for some common sense...

But consulting psychologist John Cheetham said six-year-olds did not have a developed sense of right and wrong. "They are too young to put themselves into someone else's shoes," he said. "We've got to be very careful about putting an adult take on it, it's all about context."

A department spokeswoman said the school acted appropriately, and "counseling had been offered to the students".

OK, first grade does seem a bit early, but doesn't it seem a bit over the top to be attaching the term "Sexual Assault" to the sort of stuff that little kids have been doing since the beginning of time, or to a kid who's probably too young to really know what sex is?

Hell, I can remember having little get togethers out at recess with the other kids, maybe third grade or so, and showing and telling. We'd whip that little thing out and show it off, and the girls lifted their shirts from time to time.

One girl even came to school without her panties on one day and turned around to us guys in class and flash her little hairless cooter. Thing is, we didn't even really know what the hell it was. We just looked at each other and thought she was pretty cool.

I think maybe if my family hadn't been pulled out of England when we were, I might have lost it in about the fourth or fifth grade.

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Finally, for your mid-week amusement, a friend emailed me this joke today. I almost emailed it to my regulars, but then I figured it was time to be selfish and have a few laughs around here. Hope ya like it...

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when an ancient cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't. The aged cow was struck and killed.

Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. She stayed in the car making phone calls.

About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a rare, huge Cuban cigar in the other, and was smiling happily, smeared with lipstick.

"What happened to you," asked Hillary?

"Well," the driver replied, "The farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me."

"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.

The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed that old cow.

The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

Now I don't care who you are, that's friggin' hilarious!

15 comments:

H2o said...

Yes it is...

Kevin said...

A six-year old masterminding a "sex club"? Please. Who didn't do the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" when they were a kid?
Funny joke, FHB... too bad it ain't true...

NICKEL said...

I agree with Kevin, too bad it ain't true. It is funny. Thanks.

Christo Gonzales said...

Logical Science
Two builders, Fred and Bill, are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the "suit".
Fred: "I reckon he's an accountant."
Bill: "No way! He's a stockbroker."
Fred: "He's no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!"
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Fred and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the "suit" is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and several jugs get the better of the builder...
Fred: "Scuse me...no offense meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?"
Suit: "No offense taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession"
Fred: "Oh! What's that then?"
Suit: "I'll try to explain by example. ...Do you have a goldfish at home?"
Fred: "Er...mmm...well, yeah, I do as it happens!"
Suit: "Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?"
Fred: "It's in a pond."
Suit: "Well, then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden."
Fred: "As it happens, yes, I have got a big garden."
Suit: "Well then It's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden that you have a large house."
Fred: "As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself."
Suit: "Well, given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married."
Fred: "Yes, I am married, I live with my wife and three children!"
Suit: "Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife."
Fred: "Yep! Four nights a week!"
Suit: "Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often."
Fred: "Me? Never!"
Suit: "Well there you are, that's logical science at work!"
Fred: "How's that then?"
Suit: "Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about the size of garden you have, the size of house, your family and about your sex life!"
Fred: "I see. That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!"
They both leave the toilet and Fred returns to his mate.
Bill: "I see the suit was in there, did you ask him what he did?
Fred: "Yep! He's a logical scientist!"
Bill: "What's that then?"
Fred: "I'll try to explain. Do you have a goldfish?"
Bill: "Nope"
Fred: "Well then, you're a Wanker...."

fuzzbert_1999@yahoo.com said...

Truly hilarious!

Keep practicing...maybe soon you can whip that little girl!

Christina RN LMT said...

Heck, I had a boyfriend when I was six!
His name was Chris Poe and he lived next door to us.
We used to make-out behind the garbage cans.
Does that make us deviants?
I think not.
Parents need to relax.
Keep working on your game, you'll start winning soon!

Sarge Charlie said...

While I was in Germany we played poker, payday stakes, I won but there was this one guy who always got even on the pool table, I just never could beat hem, I wonder what ever happened to him.

In my best Larry the Cable Guy voice, Thats funny, I don't care who you are.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious.

*Goddess* said...

Once again, my poor gal, Hil, takes a beatin'....

BTW, love the title of your post...LOL!

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

that was so funny!! thanks for the belly laugh...

smiles, bee

none said...

Yeah the show and tell thing used to be normal, now it's a crime.

Kids are growing up in a weird time.

Christo Gonzales said...

hey sorry to clog your comments with such a long joke but I couldnt help myself

Anonymous said...

Those parents need to chill the hell out. Good grief.

david mcmahon said...

G'day FHB,

Sorry I've dropped off slightly from being a daily visitor. Had to get through a big segment of the novel, but I'm back on track.

Cheers

David

PRH said...

Was the 6 year old name Bubba Clinton? Sounds like the little bastard might have been Bill's demon seed... Ol' Billy Jeff is a lying idiot, but if you had to wake up next to Hillzilla, wouldn't you lie and sleep around?