Ok, I don't care who you are, that's friggin' hilarious. Thanks to Dudley for posting this and letting me steal it.
And some tastefully dirty jokes, for your pleasure...
Several cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.
After listening to the pros and cons of the various ones brought up, one of the cowboys finally says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says another.
"Neither have I," says a third.
"What is it?"
"Well, it's where you get your girlfriend down on all fours, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands, and you whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's'.
Then you try to hold on for 8 seconds.
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Joe was retiring after 45 years of delivering mail.
On his retirement day he goes to deliver mail as usual, but folks are giving him going away gifts.
At the first house he gets a fruit cake, a gift card to The Red Lobster, and a cellphone.
At the second house he gets the same.
At the third house he sees the newly married woman waiting for him in a silk robe. She takes him up into the bedroom and she screws him every which way until he says that they have to stop or he won't be able to walk. She goes downstairs and makes eggs and coffee. Under the coffee cup he finds a dollar.
When he's able to walk down, he eats the breakfast and drinks the coffee, noticing the dollar.
He asks her, "What's the dollar for?"
She replies, "Well, when I asked my husband what I should give you for your retirement, he said 'Screw him, give him a dollar!'"
