Last Friday was a busy day.

First, I slept in (my summer schedule ROCKS) till about 9am. Then I drove to San Saba for my last Friday make-up day, making up for the fishing trip a while back. All I had to do was give a test, and it was a bitch of a test. The inmates (loosers) were pissin', lookin' up to me and askin' "Why do you do this to us?" I was like, "That's why they call it a TEST, motherfuckers." I love my job.

Thing is, the guards knew I needed to get out of there before count. I'd earlier told them I had a medical thing to get to. So they let me out early, as soon as the guys finished their test. I was out of there by 1:30pm, rather than 2:40, and home in plenty of time to change into some shorts and get to the hospital.



Then it was like this. "Step up on this scale." Yep, still 311lbs., and my blood pressure, and my temperature, and then "Here, change into this gown. Now, sit here and wait."



I checked out the implements of destruction, all laid out for the doctor. I checked out all the little labels on the drawers, particularly the one that said "Anal Scope." Jezus...



And then I waited some more...



And then some more. In all, about fifteen minutes. Not long in retrospect.



Here's the issue at hand, there between my fingers. I've had this cyst for many years. When I first realized it was there, the doc told me what it was, and that it's not cancerous. But it's annoying as hell sometimes. I end up sleeping on it now and then and wake up with a sure neck.



In time, the procedure began. They decided to sit me in the chair and have me lean over the bench. The nurse (who took these pictures, and did a wonderful job) swabbed the area to be cut, and then shaved it. The doc then gave me a shot to deaden the area.



Long story short (and many more pictures, which are all available here), in the space of 40 to 45 minutes or so, it was mostly over. He'd cut out the offending cyst...



Which ended up looking more like a big greasy, snotty lugy to me...



And he'd sewn up the hole, giving me a few stitches inside the hole to aid in healing.



That's my doc there, Paul Gerdes, and the nurse who assisted. I never got her name. Shame too. She did a wonderful job assisting, and took some awesome pictures too. Dr. Gerdes is a wonderful physician. I really lucked out when I showed up out of the blue all those years ago and drew him out of the hat.

After everything was done, with my neck bandaged, Denise and I were off to Temple. What, me go home and rest after surgery? Naaaaaa. I had plans. I had to turn in my laundry at the dry cleaners. Plus, it was my turn to pay for dinner, and the girls knew what they were in for.



The cooks at Dynasty were in rare form Friday night. Not only was the Gen. Tso's Chicken excellent, and the Shrimp-fried-rice, but they'd also knocked out some killer fried cream corn nuggets, and those fried chicken wings were wonderful too. Top it all off with an egg roll, and you've got a meal fit for a fat hairy bastard.

After cleaning this plate I went back for more of those corn nuggets. I just can't get too many of those. Then we were off, back to mom's house for an after dinner tipple. By then, the bandage the nurse had stuck to the back of my neck was coming unstuck from my sweat, and the bandage was full of blood. We found some bandages at mom's and replaced the soiled one with a new one, but then it didn't last long ether.

No, we didn't go home after leaving mom's. We needed to go to Sam's. We wandered around there for an hour or so, picking up some essential shit. You know, a HUGE box of Ritz crackers, and a big can of coffee, and a few crates of diet green tea, and a few other things. In the end, I had to re up. Turns out mom had earlier re upped and she'd canceled the card that dad had carried around. That's the one I had. I kept it. It has his picture on it, but now I have my own, $40 later.

After getting out of there, around 9PM, it was time to head home. By the time we got there, my second bandage had come off my neck, again, from my own sweat, and it was also filled with blood. I have some pills and a first-aid kit, but it turned out that all my friggin' pills were expired! I guess I just don't get sick often enough.

I used my most recently expired Tylenol, took two, and let Denise put Neosporin on the wound and then a makeshift bandage. It all worked out beautifully. I slept like a stone Friday night, and then woke up to find the bandage still on , and the wound healing nicely.



This is what it looked like after my shower, Saturday afternoon. It'd been about 24 hours since the cutting, and the wound was healing up nicely. I told Denise it looked like she'd gotten a bit too enthusiastic in the sack, giving me a little love bite. I decided that's the story I'd tell everyone. Well, everyone who isn't reading this blog anyway.

We went out to eat Saturday night too, this time to a little German place in Lampasas. But that's another story. Anyway, I'm healin' up fine. Feel great. There's BBQ ribs in the oven as we speak, cookin' slowly, so you know we'll eat well tonight too. Denise is out sunnin' herself in the back yard, and I'm here, workin' on pictures and doin' laundry. Typical Sunday.

I hope y'all had a great weekend, and that you dads had a great day today. You all deserve it. Cheers!

Friday stuff, and stuff.

I have to go to San Saba today. It's the last make-up day for the week I spent fishing in Canada. No lecture today though. Just giving them a test, so maybe I'll be able to get out a bit early. I need to, seeing as how I'm supposed to be at the Scott & White hospital in Killeen at 3:45 for an operation.

Yep, I'm getting cut on today. I've had a cyst on my neck, where my back and neck meet, for years. It usually doesn't bother me, but Denise has been asking me to have it removed, and every now and then I sleep on it in such a way that I end up with a neck ache in the morning.

The doc says it's no big deal. It's not cancer or anything. But he says it's the sort of thing that will grow back if they don't get every little bit of it. The last time I went in to see him, I told him I'd like to have him cut it out. So, this afternoon, around 4PM, I'll be leanin' over the bench in his office, or somewhere. and he'll be carvin' away. You wanna see what it'll look like when I get cut on, click on this video. I warn you though, stay the hell away from those other zit related videos. Mmmmm, nasty. And by the way, mine should be about eight or ten times the size of that kids.

Also, I know you'll be shocked by this, but I've decided to have the doctor or his assistant take a few pictures of the procedure. You know, before, during and after shots. Denise is gonna drive me to the hospital, thinkin' that I'll probably be in no condition to drive myself home after. But I KNOW she's not gonna sit in on the procedure.

Talk about a weak stomach, Sheesh. All I have to do is start to say the word PUS and she's headed for the porcelain alter. I tell ya, it's almost as fun as chasin' her around with a rubber snake. So, she's talkin' about drivin' me. We'll see. As of now, I plan to be fully conscious and eating large quantities of Chinese food from Dynasty a few hours after the fact. It's my turn to pay, so Denise and Mom both know where they're goin', and that stuff is too good to pass up.

Anyway, Y'all be cool and check in regular for the bloody pictures. I can't wait to show 'em to ya. Cheers!