Got an email from a good friend this morning.

Thought I'd share. One of my shooting buddies is talking about another one, who's been giving away old magazines lately. He's given me some too, and you'll hear about it later. Anyway, the email went as follows.

FHB (not his real name) --

Waters is slowly farming off a bunch of his old gun magazines to me. I've attached a pic to this email, I found it on page 89 of the July/August 2006 edition of "American Cop" magazine. I saw it and immediately thought of you and your blog. These cops know how to take crime and "nip it in the bud"!

Just a side note -- is it just me, or does the officer on the driver's side of the patrol car look a lot like the former governor of Illinois? :-)



Damn, I wanna play too... and that does look like Blogoyavitch. Hilarious!

The boys from Top Gear, experiencing some of the local flavor, or trying to get themselves killed in Alabama.

I think the objective here must have been to see how many stupid stereotypes they could validate.



Next, perhaps, they'll be driving old cars through Manchester with signs provoking the local soccer hooligans? Naaa, pointing out our faults will always win more ratings in the UK. I love em, but damn! I mean, it's one thing for Yankees to come down and act like this, but complete strangers? Rude, crude, and unattractive, as my daddy used to say.

This guy is hilarious, and makes several great points. Enjoy.

One of my cousins, who lives in Houston, went to the Ultimate Fighting Championships there recently, and guess who he ran into?

Son of a bitch! Ok, that's not really my cousin. Apparently when he had his picture taken, the camera operator was a bit nervous and the shot is blurred and a bit washed out with light. You can see it's him, but I figured this shot was better. Gotta love the shit eatin' grin on this guys face, what with his wife standin' right there on the other side of old Jenna. Nice rack on the wife, I must say. These are friends of his. This guys company has a floor suite, so they get access to a VIP area that occasionally has this sort of person flitting through. I remember when this kid was born, and now he's huggin' on a porn star. Love it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, here's my cousin, after I worked on the shot a bit. I'm so proud.



I asked him, "She didn't have any trouble swallowin' anything while you were there, or anything?" "Of course not!" Loaded question?

Happy Easter everyone.

Here's some funny comics for your perusal.

Jacked these from the guy over at On the Patio. Check him out some time.



What if relationships could (legally) be dealt with like a small business? What would you define as "outsourcing"?



M-O-N-E-Y... is all I'm sayin'. It's all about the benjamins baby, or so they say.

And, perhaps the most disturbing of all...



Virtually a portrait of the FHB, before the beard. Man, now I'm gonna have that old tune in my head for days. So, what were you doing in 73 when Maria Muldaur was putting that little plea out into the air waves? I was about 12, innocent as hell, but could already tell a belly rubbin' song when I heard one. My God, was there ever a better time to be alive? If only I'd been a little older. Oh well. like that tune, those times ended way too soon.

Back from a great weekend in Sweetwater.

(click on any of these pictures to see higher res versions)

The weather was perfect. We had cool temps in the evening and sunny days, and it waited till we were on our way home to come a turd floater. Don't ya just love a thunder storm? Particularly with all the rain we need nowadays.



Ooo, I think I soiled my armor. I've been waitin' for weeks for rain so I could show you this one.

Anyway, I'm back from Sweetwater today, with a lot of good pictures. I'll post them over at Flickr eventually, but here are a few to give you a taste.



Breakfast on Saturday morning. Pork and eggs, scrambled.



Mmmm, what's left of a breakfast burrito. Good food...



Good people. The folks I went with teach cooking on base, and they are a lot of fun. Good folks, all ex-army or army spouses. They've all taken one or more of my classes, and now a few of them are in grad school. You really have to give a lot of credit to people who did 20 years in the service and now are getting college degrees, a class or two at a time, online and in class, until they get it done. Hard workers, and good cooks.



meanwhile, the cooking competition got going, with people beginning to cook chili, brisket and ribs.



Smoke rose up over the camp from over a hundred grills like this one.



This years competition was a lot bigger than we'd seen in previous years. A lot more people competing, making the odds of winning that much slimmer. One of the big things about this cook-off is the competition over rattlesnake. They had to be processed...



and then you could cook then any way you chose. Some were grilled...



and some were fried. My buddy David fried his, and then stirred it into a mixing bowl with a secret sauce his wife had earlier prepared. Then it was all about product placement.



This turned out to be the winning entry. We were all very proud of David when they called his number and he went up to get his check for $735, and his plaque.



Oh, and the rattlesnake roundup was also interesting. Lots and lots of little wigglers.



Call me a softy, but I can't help but feel sorry about these critters; pulled out of nice cool dens to be measured, milked, killed and skinned. There are experts who think this sort of thing is horrible, but locals, who live with snakes all the time, think it's no big deal. They say that more snakes are run over every year on local roads than are killed at the round up. Who knows?



This guy, David Sager, with the local JCs, is the same guy I've seen doing the presentation for the last several years. That tells you that he knows what he's doing, walkin' around in this pen without snake boots on, with all these western diamond backs, but you get the idea from the presentation that maybe a lot of the danger associated with these critters is hype.



He walks around amongst them, and they rattle, but they never go after him. He shows that they react to vibrations defensively. The show dispels a lot of myths. he says that they don't chase you, and won't bite you unless you step on them or reach for them.



He goes after one, trying to get it to strike and pop a balloon, agitating it to the point that, in stead of striking, it rolled itself up into a ball...



and then he walked around the pin with it curled up in his hand. Amazing.

The gun show was also OK, and the carnival was the same as last year; lots of rickety rides and nasty looking food. The highlight of the weekend was definitely our friend winning first place with his snake. Congratulations to him, and to his wife for makin' the winning sauce.

So, it's a hot weekend. Yer at a pool party at a buddy's house, and someone gets a really stupid idea.

This is all about trust. Trust, and alcohol. How drunk would you need to be?



And you may have seen this before. It's been goin' around. Too damn funny not to post. Enjoy.



So, I'm heading to the little town of Sweetwater, Texas this weekend. They're having a combined chili cook-off, rattlesnake roundup, carnival, and gun show. Now folks, what the hell else do you need?

Ok, get yer minds out of the gutter. I'm sure I'll be able to round THAT up if needs must. Chili cook-off folks...



are notoriously open minded, horny as hell, and easily plied with small amounts of booze... or so I hear. And if that doesn't work, there's always the carnival folks. Shiny objects and booze? I understand that it works. Many a marriage has been based on less.

A few friends will be competing in the cook-off, and I'll be eating copious amounts of BBQ, and maybe judging the competition. Can you say ringer? Might even eat some BBQ roasted rattlesnake. It ain't bad. Weather looks like it'll be nice; 70s in the day time and 40s at night. Perfect camping weather. I might even get to buy a new toy at the gun show. If the ninjas of the nanny state have their way, I'm sure these sorts of shows will soon be a thing of the past, so why not splurge?

I'll have an early out at the high school tomorrow morning, and then I'm off from there for a week of spring break. On the way back to town to get ready to head to Sweetwater, I'll spend a while at the local veterans cemetery. An old buddy of mine, Bobby Spence, passed away this week. He was one of the attendants in the building on base that I teach out of. Known him for years. Great guy. Army vet. Korea and Nam, I think. Supposedly his wife found him, seemingly sleeping, eyes closed, hands clasped behind his head. She shook his foot to wake him and discovered how cold he was. Now, if that isn't the way to go, I don't know what is. God bless him. He'll be missed.

So, relax and have a great weekend, and I'll see ya on the other end.

Loved Lord of the Rings. Saw the movies in the theatre, and then got the DVDs, but don't remember this scene.

Ok, THIS is shit your pants time.

Love the way he gives 'em a little shove at the edge. So gentle.

And here's one to acknowledge the day. It is the end of another week.



LOVE the cap. So have a happy Fat Hairy Friday. Gonna go out today on the way to pick up dad and get my regular (every 6 to 8 weeks) haircut and beard trim. I go to my cousins barber shop and she does me up nice. I know, there's only so much you can do.

After that I'll take the work clothes to the dry cleaners, and then dad and I, and maybe the sis, will go out to eat Chinese food at the regular place. I've got a family reunion to go to Sunday, and final exams to give early next week, but I hope all of YOU have a great, relaxing weekend.

After finals, Spring Break will be upon me. I'll have about a week and a half off, and then about a month between paychecks after that. I signed up to teach a mini term, but it looks like it wont make. Aaaah well, you can't have everything.

Sorry, but this image is just too hilarious not to share.

It's the look in his eyes, and those dirty little fingers, and that ridiculously fat neck... and the serene look of pleasure on Barbi's face. What a hilarious image.


So, what would you call it if someone got sexual gratification from ticklin' Barbi's cooter?

Guess what the Insurgents do when they don't have car bombs to set off?

Right there in front of everyone. Bizarre. Hilarious.

To celebrate Martin Scorsese's oscar, here's his take on a childrens classic.

Ever notice the difference between the ways men and women do basic things, like showering?

So guys, do we all pee in the shower? And what about the ladies?

Looks like the government has decided to finally allow some pilots to carry guns to prevent hijackings.

Wouldn't you just love to see the look on the face of the hijacker that's confronted by this cowboy?

The genious of invention; taking something ordinary and turning it into something exciting.

Check this out. Someone took an old trimmer and turned it into... well, what the hell would you call this? A new, loud, tricky form of locomotion. Can't really say it's environmentally friendly, but I bet the wipe outs are fun to watch.

Now, speakin' of weird technology, someone please explain this little gizmo to me. What the hell? Some sort of containment issue? An incubator of some sort? NASA astronauts or deep sea divers going through some sort of decompression? You tell me.

Oh yea, it's also Fatty Friday, so click on this if you feel you need to. Not quite sure what the funnel is for. Don't really wanna know ether. On the other hand, don't even think about clickin' on this one. It looks VERY painful to me. I wouldn't go there if I were you.

Ok, what the hell is this shit...

Is all I'm sayin'? Warner Herzog on Loche Ness, with something in the water?



Just when I'd decided that shit was fake. Is that Bruce?

You know, I love the hell out of C-SPAN.

I watch it all the time, but I've never seen it this funny. Enjoy.



File it under... Yep, people are assholes.

On a lighter note...

People are just friggin' crazy. As evidence...



and...



That scream says it all.

Ok, this is cool, and hilarious.

Ever feel horny after a big satisfyin' feed?



Natures wonders in action. Love it, but that one dude sitting on the dead whale is a crazy bastard. There's no fuckin' way. Hilarious.