Friday, October 24, 2008

Headin' out...

But first I've got stuff ta tell ya.

You guys hear about the drama Wednesday at that college in Kentucky? Western Kentucky University? Well, Denise's younger daughter works on that campus. Lynn called her Mom at about noon to tell her what was goin' on, to tell her that she was OK. Denise told Lynn to call her about every thirty minutes so she'd know she was still OK, but she didn't. Drove Denise nuts!

By the time I got out of my orientation for the new job in San Saba, at about 4PM, she'd left three messages on my cell phone, each phone message more exasperated and emotional than the last. She needed to talk to me, to have me there. There was real fear that some lunatic with a gun was running around on the campus. I'd had my phone off during the meeting, so I'd had no idea.

When I turned on the phone and got the word I went right over there to console her. She was holding back tears when I got there. Next thing we knew Lynn called to tell her everything was cool. I guess now they've found out that there may never have been a gunman running around at all, or that it was all gang related. For Christs sake!

Lynn said she was sitting at work when they all got text messages through the college telling them to hide in their offices and shut the doors, that there were reports of up to four gunmen roaming the campus. You can imagine how Denise felt when she found out. The media coverage didn't help ether. Thank God it turned out to be nothing, but I can't WAIT for the gun grabbers to start their nauseatingly predictable chant over it all. Opportunistic pricks!

As I said, my buddy Dave Waters and I had our first orientation meeting with the TDCJ (Texas Department of Criminal Justice) rep from San Saba Wednesday afternoon. We're supposed to start teaching there on the 27th. He laid out a lot of interesting info about our new teaching jobs there.

Would you believe, they're not gonna let me have sex with the inmates!!!

Sheeeit, I thought that was gonna be one of the best perks of the job! I mean, they're all male inmates, 18 to 25, but I bet one or two of those boys can suck a mean... well, never mind. I'll just have to live with the disappointment.

Seriously, I guess that sort of thing goes on quite a lot in the system. More I'm sure than most of us want to know. The guy had hilarious and amazing stories to tell, mostly about female civilians and inmates, but also about gay sex going on between guards and prisoners. Both Dave and I have taught before on other prison units in Gatesville, so a lot of what he had to tell us was familiar. It's gonna be an interesting transition. I'm glad I'll still have a chance to teach classes there in Florence and on the base. It'll give me a taste of normality to go along with the convicts.

Thing is, there was an "incident" with the TDCJ in Huntsville last week, and now the governor has locked down the prison system state wide for the time being. A Death Row inmate got a cell phone smuggled in by his mother, with a guard knowing but looking the other way, and proceeded to make hundreds of calls, including one to a State Senator. He supposedly told the guy he knew where his daughters lived and was gonna get them. The shit hit the fan then, and now they've locked down everything. They're searching the inmates and they're finding hundreds of cell phones and lots of other fun stuff too.

Bottom line, so long as the facility in San Saba is locked down we can't start our classes. I'll be officially Full-time starting Monday. Officially high tone at last, but I won't have classes to teach in San Saba until the lock down ends. It could be 30 days, meaning the semester would be cancelled, but the TDCJ dude didn't think they'd do that. He thinks it might last another week. Whatever. I'm easy. They'll be payin' me, and all the other folks anyway. Yep, I'm livin' the dream.

I said we're headin' out. By the time you read this we'll be on a plane headed to Orlando. Denise's brother and his family are already there. We'll all be stayin' at their time-share, joining them for the weekend. Our plane flew out from Austin at about 6AM today, and we'll be getting back Sunday by about 5PM. It's gonna be draining, but it'll be great to see these folks.

I got to know all of them right after Denise and I first started goin' out, about a year and a half ago. They all descended on me after we'd been swoppin' snuggles for only about two weeks. Trial by fire. Of course, we all hit it off famously. The women all loved me, to the point of actually helping Denise and I sneak away from her brother so we could make out at my place. Hilarious. The last time we saw them was at that big family Christmas in Wisconsin. It'll be great to see them again.

Anyway, that's most of my news. Mom is puny, suffering from a cold. I've been calling her each day to make sure she's OK, and I took soup over there Tuesday afternoon. I took my crock pot over and set it up with my version of chicken noodle soup and turned it on. By the time my classes were half over in the evening she was diggin' into it and lovin' it.

My sister drove off to Colorado Wednesday, on her way to a job interview. Please God, let this woman get that job in Colorado, find the capacity to live a normal life, and get the FUCK out of my wallet. Please God! Can I get an Amen?

That's it. I'll see y'all later. Have a great weekend. Cheers!


Suldog said...

Hey! I thought you had the politically-correct no-sex-talk talk! If the PC police find you talking about sucking stuff...

BRUNO said...

Of course, on the OTHER hand---if he DOES violate(bad word to use, here!)the policy---what'll they do?

Throw him OUT of jail...???


Mushy said...

Amen on your sister!

I'm going to have to keep an eye on you next trip...all that sucky talk and all.

Glad everything is okay in KY.

Catmoves said...

I'm shocked. You've forgotten "...I mean, they're all male inmates, 18 to 25, but I bet one or two of those boys can suck a mean...."
That is NOT sex. A President said so, thus it must be truth.
Glad to hear your Mom is feeling better. Must be that chicken soup. It couldn't hurt.
Have fun in your new job.

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Hold up folks! I ain't suckin' nothin'! Now, I'll suck the hell out of a clit, so long as I don't have to use a machete to get to it. On the other hand, I've always heard that so long as you're pitchin', you're strait. Just close you're eyes and think of England.