Sunday, June 20, 2010

Happy Father's Day to all the dads I know.

Considering the solemnity of this special day, you'll appreciate the sentiment in this little video.

Yea, that game never really went well for me ether. It's bizarre to me now, but I didn't really enjoy playing Catch with my dad. It was always something he wanted to do, to try to urge me to enjoy athletics, but I never really did. I don't know why. I was always more interested in runnin' in the woods and shooting arrows, both of which bored him to tears. We just didn't enjoy the same sorts of things, so we didn't get along.

I hear stories now about my friends and their fathers, enjoying hobbies with one another and getting along like friends, and it just blows my mind. To me, in those days, my father was my enemy. He was an impediment to me, standing in my way. And yet I loved him, and secretly yearned for his approval. So, when he belittled me and laughed at my hobbies, it hurt me all that much more.

I know now that it must have been very hard for my dad to be my dad. The world I was growing up in was VERY different from the one he'd grown up in, and nothing really worked out the way he thought it would. A saw the confusion in him when I was a kid. We'd be arguing about something, like mowing the lawn or something, usually when I wanted to be out in the woods. He'd say things about how much he and his dad got along, or how much he'd always wanted to work along side his dad, as if to ask me why I wasn't cooperating.

I guess, when it came to being the son he wanted, I failed my father as much as he did me. At least that was the way we thought about things back then. Of course, as we both got older, all of that stupid childhood shit melted away and we grew to love and understand one another deeply. He saw the work and fun I put into my life, and I guess I finally started to see and respect him as the strong, accomplished man that he was.

Now that he's gone, I miss my daddy terribly. I cry sometimes when I think about those days when I used to drive over to get him, to take him out to eat Chinese food on Friday nights. I'd roll up in front of the house and he'd be slowly hobbling out to meet me.

He'd have a huge grin on his face, waving and calling to me, saying something like "Hey sunshine!" I used to look forward to seeing him all week long. We both did. If you'd told me I would ever feel that way about him when I was a kid, I'd have told you you were crazy. Funny how things turn out.

So, all you dads out there, have a great day! I have so much respect for you. I know it's a hard job to grow up yourself, so you can bring up a kid. The thing is... Please, for me, always try to remember. It can also be terribly hard to be a son. Terribly hard.

If everything works out right, you'll both love and respect one another. But if things aren't going well, all I can say is that in time, both of you will probably grow up, and wise up, and maybe you'll be able to enjoy the friendship my daddy and I had in the end. Believe me, it's somethin' to shoot for.



BRUNO said...

He's still around, you know.

You see him in the mirror each morning, don't ya'???

FHB said...

Yea man, he's with me all the time. Thanks.