Thursday, March 20, 2008

Dad's puny.

As I told you yesterday, mom called me at about 1am Wednesday morning telling me she was calling 911. Dad was complaining of chest pains. "Could I come?" was the question, as if there would be any other answer but YES!

As I said yesterday, I drove over there thinking that might be THE night, but it wasn't. Dad spent the night in the emergency room, with mom and sis sitting with him till morning. After a few hours I had to bring Denise home so she could get some sleep before going to work. I was secretly thankful for that. The last thing I wanted to do was sit in the hospital all night. Of course, if they'd needed me I would have sat there with mom, but sis got there and they both told me to take Denise home at about 3:30. Denise called in to work in the morning and told them she'd been up all night at the hospital and that she'd be in late and then we slept in till about 11. As she headed to work, I headed back to the hospital.



When I got back over there at about noon, dad was up in his fifth floor room sleeping like a baby. I stayed all day, off and on. Sis spent about five hours with him in the afternoon while I went to see mom and do a few other things. Then mom came over at about dinner time while I took sis home. Mom got out of there at about 9:30pm, with me escorting her to her car out in the dark parking area before going home myself. Dad's one remaining brother and his wife visited him late in the evening and several relatives called during the day to see how he was doing.

It turns out dad has a urinary tract infection. That, coupled with dehydration, weakened him and had him laying in bed for several days until he complained about that pain. We're still not sure what those chest pains were all about, but his cardiologist will see him today.

Turns out he went for about 4 days last week without taking a bath or changing his own diaper. Mom would say "Don't you need a bath?" and he'd say "No.", and then just go back to bed. I guess it's gotten to be such a chore, taking his clothes off and bathing, that he decided not to do it. The result of all of that was this infection. He's also become more difficult to feed and care for, at times refusing to eat and constantly wanting something different than what mom fixes for him. She gives him water to drink all the time, worried that anything else will hurt his one remaining functional kidney, but I guess he wasn't drinking enough of it and has become dehydrated.

It looks like everything will be OK on the short term. But there are lingering questions in our minds about mom needing help taking care of him on a daily basis. Mom just doesn't have it in her to be a drill sargent, and that's increasingly what dad needs to force him to do what he needs to do to stay healthy. He's becoming more and more like a child and taking care of him is exhausting her. That REALLY worries us. If something happened to her we wouldn't have any choice but to put dad in a home. That's an issue were gonna have to deal with now.

Anyway, thanks for the beautiful comments to yesterdays post. You all mean a hell of a lot to me. Cheers.

14 comments:

fuzzbert_1999@yahoo.com said...

Sorry man, I saw the cats and moved on yesterday...so I'm just now finding out.

So sorry for you and your mom. It appears it may be time for scheduled care services. Your mom certainly couldn't keep it up long if at all.

I'll be praying for him. See ya.

Mushy

fuzzbert_1999@yahoo.com said...

P.S. Keep me posted.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

just know that when his time does come you were a wonderful son and be proud. i wish that for every parent.

smiles, bee

Walrilla said...

Man, that's some scary stuff right there. We will keep him in our thoughts and prayers.

Walrilla

Suldog said...

God bless, FHB. I'm keeping you and your Dad in my prayers every night.

Jerry in Texas said...

FHB,
If you get to that point where you need to consider home health care, I would recommend Home Instead http://www.homeinstead.com. They are a nationwide service, I believe. That's who we use, and we couldn't be more pleased. It would give your Mom a needed break.

Keeping Dad in my prayers for you.

fuzzbert_1999@yahoo.com said...

Just to let everyone know...Jeff's dad passed away today. Jeff called me about an hour ago to tell me.

He seemed fine with it, knowing that his dad was past taking care of himself and that his mind was slipping. We agreed it was probably for the best. We all got to go someday...at least he still had his dignity intact.

Please keep him, his mom, and his sister in your thoughts and prayers.

Mushy

Cookie..... said...

Just read Mushy's last comment. Jeff, from my wife and myself, our deepest condolences. We've both lost all our parents and its not an easy thing, regardless of whatever relationships we had with them. From what I read regarding his condition, it was for the best for all concerned, and I'm sure he's in a more peaceful place right now, at least those are my beliefs....

May God Bless....

Lin said...

Jeff, we have you and your loved ones in our hearts and prayers. God bless and watch over you all. I am so glad you had the time to love him - you are truly a wonderful son and he knew it, too.

NotClauswitz said...

You've got my attention and prayers for no bad-patches. They can have a hard time identifying and expressing where actual (vs. phantom) pain is or is coming-from.

Buck said...

Jeff. My heart-felt condolences. Take care of your Mom, and be as well as you can be. My prayers are with you and the rest of your family.

Sarge Charlie said...

He looks a little puny I hope every thing works out for him. Strange how it works, when you were little, he took care of you, now he is old and the rolls are reversed.

phlegmfatale said...

FHB - I'm so sorry to hear about your pa. He looks so peaceful in the photo. Blessings to you and your family at this difficult time.

Jerry in Texas said...

Jeff,
So sorry to hear about your Dad. He is finally at peace. Thinking of you, Sis, and your Mom. God Bless.