Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Santa brought me a cool assed digital camera...

but the thing is as complicated as Chinese math (sorry). What the hell ever happened to point and shoot? Still instinctively bring it to my eye for a split second each time I try to use it, but that's going away. Slowly learning some of the functions, reading through the ridiculously thick instruction manual. So, yer thinkin' "when are we gonna get to see the FHB?

Tada!


Meet Sandy, one of my hunter killer kitties. Lethal fucker he is. Used to bring home monster rats and shit till the neighbors forced me to fence him and the others in the yard. Dickless, humorless mother fuckers! Back yard is like the gulag archipelago for kitties now. Sad, but what can you do. Yer thinkin' "What the hell is all that crap behind him?" Well, that's the tack board over my desk, and about 30 years worth of accumulated crap (doesn't even begin to illustrate the full scope of my accumulated crap, I assure you).


Question is (click to enlarge), how much of this shit can you identify?


Here's another of my tribe. Tiger by name, pussycat by nature. He also has been known to slay rodent scum with abandon, but is the only one of the bunch that will let others than I approach him. He's a sweetie. In fact, this is the one that the neighbors gave to animal control, trying to get him killed for layin' around in their yard. I hope they all get tumors.


So (note the still healing evidence of the pox), yer not fond of cats? Maybe a weak self esteem requiring the always attentive, slobbering sycophancy of "Man's Best Friend"?


Well, that's just pathetic. I make rude noises at you for such silliness. Dogs are cool as hell, but cats are mystical, holy things. The Egyptians knew that shit four or five thousand years ago, so ketch up, for Christs sake.


Anyway, I've got shit to do. Don't get used to this level of intimacy. After this I'm back to being aloof, distant, and mysterious.


See what I mean? Me and my 30 close, trusted friends are outa here (well, really 20. I don't want to fuck up the clip). 10 points if you can ID the origin of the clip (duh, I mean the manufacturer). I know, easy peasy.

12 comments:

Mushy said...

Damn, you really are a fat, hairy, bastard! And that last one, a fat, hairy, shitte extremist bastard! Also, it looks like your forehead caught fire and you put it out with a golf shoe! Looks like you had a real case.

And, what's up with the cats - cats are for pussies! Get a big dog!

Seriously, I still love ya, even though you are really FHB and have cats!

And, I was just about to ask for a close up of that bulletin board when you provided...I'll enlarge it and see if I can find your SSN! Is that Frank Zappa or Jeebus on the john?

Happy New Year my friend...walk about back at midnight on New Year's Eve and fill the air full of hot FHB lead!

Fathairybastard said...

It's Frank, who may well have been Jeebus for all we know. One day, when the cats are no longer with us, I will have a big dog. I'd have one now but the yard is tiny and it would eat one of the cats, and then I'd have to shoot it. And do you know how much I'd LOVE to cut loose on new years. The cops here would love to put me away for that shit, and there's no one else on my street who would fall into the profile. All old geezers aside from me. They'd come strait here. And I'm too purdy to go to jail.

Dick said...

Fat hairy bastard my ass!
Your new name is officially "Big Sexy!"

Fathairybastard said...

Mmmm. I think I like that.

Anonymous said...

I got a new camera also and did spend half the day figuring out how to use it. Still not sure about those M,A,S,&P modes.

Anonymous said...

Nice shirtless pics!! Mushy, take note....

I don't recognize ANY of the stuff on your board but I like the kitty cats;)

hammer said...

That magazine looks like the Bulgarian ones they used to sell in SOF.

Glad to see yer not shy ;D

I noticed darth maul and frank zappa oin your corkboard.

Fathairybastard said...

Not Bulgarian, and Darth Maul rules. One of the coolest villains in the whole 6 movie set. And that is Frank on the shitter.

Mushy said...

Oh, for the 10 points -

Early in the Afghan war the Soviets began replacing the AK-47 with the more advanced AK-74. The AK-74 is easily distinguished from the AK-47 by its rusty-red banana-shaped ammunition clip. The clips were made of corrosion proof plastic. These were better weapons issued, initially, to elite Spetsnaz troops, the Soviet equivalent of our Special Forces. They operated as both paratroop formations and as rifle companies. For an Afghan fighter to have taken an AK-74 from the dead body of an elite Spetsnaz trooper was considered quite an achievement.

Fathairybastard said...

Damn, where'd you get all that? All very true, mostly, but the red bakelite mags didn't originate with the '74. They started with the AKM, which came out in the late 50s or early 60s (between the '47 and the '74). That's what this is... a 30 round clip, made in the Izhmash factory in the town of Izhevsk, the Udmertian Soviet Socialist Republic, for a Soviet AKM. The gun is a Hungarian AKMS folder, that I had made a while back. That arrow-in-triangle symbol is the emblem of the Izmash company, which has built rifles for the Russian military for over a hundred years. They now turn out these products in the Independent Republic of Udmertia, but they have a hard time selling them because the USSR used to hand out crates of these things to anyone who wanted one, and now the market is saturated.

Mushy said...

So, I don't get the full points?

Good info.

Fathairybastard said...

Partial. You made a valiant effort. Mostly only stuff a gun geek like me would want to know.