First of all, I can't talk about the people I met in Wisconsin without talking about the man whose spirit filled the house while we were there, and who was constantly the topic of conversation.
Denise's father-in-law "Lucky" Hazlett died a little over a year ago, Veterans Day of '06, after a prolonged illness. His funeral was on his son Jim's birthday. The house we visited is still filled with his stuff, the remnants of his life, and the force of his will was evident in everything that went on in the eight days of our visit.
He was a sailor in WW2, serving on the USS Tabberer (DE 418), and was on board in 1944 when the ship was caught in a huge typhoon and ended up rescuing lots of sailors from other ships that went down. After the war he had a career as a police officer in Racine, and eventually became chief of police in Mt. Pleasant. He was an avid outdoorsman; hunter and fisherman, and much of his gear was still around for me to look at. His trophy deer heads were still on the wall. You can find some of those shots over at FlickR, where I've posted them.
His basement tool shop is a sight to behold, with everything in its place. His model train set had been put away neatly, but as soon as the grand kids got there they had them down and working again. I could imagine the glee in the old gentleman's heart to see that his toys were still bringing joy to a child. He was obviously a man's man, and I found myself wishing that I could have met him and spent some time with him.
By the time he died there were three generations of men in the family who had served or were serving their country with pride. One grandson is in the Marines. Another, following in grandpas footsteps, is becoming a police officer in Minnesota. His own son, Denise's ex husband (on the right above), served two tours in Vietnam and eventually spent about twenty-five years in the Army.
I'd heard about "Lucky" before, but after I got up there and looked around, I was convinced that it was a great shame that I didn't get to meet and talk to the man. I think we would have hit it off famously.
The first folks we met up with when we got to Wisconsin were Denise's brother and sister-in-law from England, who had arrived there the day before. I'd met these folks before here in Killeen when they came over for a visit last July. We got along well and had a lot of fun back then, so their presence helped to break the ice for me in Wisconsin.
The first few days there were spent laughing and joking with the Brits, and getting reacquainted. Then Denise's ex sister-in-law Sherrie and her family arrived, and the place started to get more crowded with both people and dogs.
They had three dogs in tow, including their daughters new puppy who turned out to be the terror of the house. This is Sherrie and little Bently. You've met.
The family set out to decorate the large Christmas tree that had been set up in the living room and whip up a batch of the famous family Christmas punch... Basically frozen orange juice, lemonade and fruit juice, spiked liberally with Southern Comfort. I swear to God, I've never drunk so much in my life. It was a great time.
In the midst of that the word came that Sherrie and Chris' son Jason and the rest of the kids were about to arrive, having driven through nasty weather and road conditions to get there from Minnesota. They had no idea that their Uncle Martin and Aunt Carolyn were going be there from England, so it was an emotional surprise for them when they arrived, and fun for everyone.
I caught this shot of the matriarch of the family, "Ginny", as they all discovered one another and embraced. It's one of my favorite pictures from the holiday.
The next day there was another tearful moment when the boys went off to get dressed for dinner and pictures on Christmas eve and then surprised everyone by coming back in uniform. That's Todd, the marine reservist, being hugged by his grandmother, and then Jason, the Minnesota policeman-in-training, on the right.
You know that's a proud grandmother, and you know their proud granddad is smiling over them all.
At one point we all moved to the living room to take family pictures in front of the tree, and I got a few good ones. Here are the Brits; Carolyn, Martin and Denise.
And of course, they shoved Denise and I out there. The Matriarch insisted on it. I guess she could tell there was an attraction.
Here's the Hunt family; Jason, Amie (Jason's girlfriend), Chris, Sherrie, Laura, and Todd.
I got this hilarious shot as everything was breaking up. Todd's mother and step father are both dead, and his aunt and uncle (Chris ans Sherrie) have basically taken him in as one of their own. He was in the Marines for four years and has been to Iraq already about four times (three or four months at a time). He was in the initial invasion in 2003, and later fought in Falloujah.
He got out a while back and went into the reserves where he went to Ft. Leonard Wood and completed MP school. Thing is, he went into the reserves under the stipulation that he wouldn't have to go back to Iraq for three years. Now he's been called up and is going to go back to Iraq again. So, when you combine that with the fact that his folks are no longer around, the emotion of this holiday was peaked, as you might imagine.
At one point in the evening he received a call from a friend telling him that another marine who he thought had been killed was really alive but in critical condition. This brought all the emotions to the forefront and to the concern of the rest of us he started to drink much more heavily and make very disheartening statements about his chances of making it back alive this time.
It tore his family up. I wanted to say or do something, but not having ever been in that situation, and not really being in the family, I felt it was impossible for me to really do anything. At one point he said he was going outside to smoke, so I grabbed a half smoked cigar and followed him out.
We stood in the cold on the front lawn and talked a bit, and I found myself wishing I could have conjured up one of you guys, the circle of vets who read this blog and have become my friends, to take this young man aside and give him the support he really needed. Only another vet who's been there could really understand and be respected in that role. I tried to let him know that I understood why he was feeling the way he was, and that everyone was proud of him, but I felt very inadequate to the task, and I'm sure the things I said sounded trite.
In the end he calmed down a bit, changed out of his uniform and the emotions were shoved back for another day. I think about him a lot now, particularly when I see soldiers here on Ft. Hood coming home from Iraq and others getting ready to go back.
The next morning was Christmas, and it started in a way that was totally new to me. We all held candles and the matriarch of the family read the Christmas story from the bible. Usually they all go to church on Christmas eve, but as "Lucky" became more ill over the years, this tradition replaced the earlier one. It was an interesting tradition to take part in, coming as I do from a family that is religious but doesn't go to church. Weddings and funerals only.
Then Chris set out to distribute the presents from under the tree. He did a great job, making sure they were handed out so that everyone had something to open.
Later in the evening everyone relaxed and I got to hear a few more stories and get to know these people a bit better. I found out at one point that the matriarch of the Hazlett family is actually not the mother of any of these people. She married "Lucky" after their mother had died of cancer. Her first husband had also passed away. She took on another woman's family of four kids, including two teenagers, raising and caring for them all, and has never had any children of her own.
You wouldn't know any of that to look at this family though. These folks are tight, and the love they have for one another fills every room. One new wrinkle this Christmas is the appearance of a suitor. Frank, above, is the brother of her first husband, an Air Force (maybe CIA) vet, and is on the make. So not only was I being introduced into the family this Christmas, but Frank was getting some heat too. You should have seen the hell those girls gave their Mom when she was caught smoochin' on the front porch one evening. It was all in fun, and we were all happy for the both of them.
After Christmas, Denise's daughters Lynn and Chantel, and Chantel's kids flew in from Kentucky and the family gathering got even bigger. That's Martin' above, his back to us, brewing up some traditional British food for dinner; Yorkshire Puddings and Christmas pudding (flaming as it was served), and a few other things. I always love to fuck with them and ask if I can have some butter on my "bisket". Lord, it drives them nutty.
Even though Chris had driven back to Minnesota and taken Josie with him, the crowd was getting a bit big for the old FHB. There were too damn many folks in that little house and the action never seemed to slow down. Every once and a while Martin and I would grab Jason or someone else and hit that nice local pool hall.
Anyway, the kids had a late Christmas with the family the next day, and we played with the dogs, blew the snow off the driveway, swam at the hotel, and all the other stuff you've already read about. And there was more booze and food. God, was there ever more food.
By the end of our stay, the presents had all been taken out from under the tree, and the holiday was winding down. The Brits left Friday after an emotional, tear filled goodbye. Martin was stoic, but Denise and Carolyn are like sisters and very close, so lots of tears were flowing. Sherrie drove them to Chicago and they flew out without any trouble from the cold weather.
On our last day, the Saturday before the new year, Denise's ex husband arrived early from Virginia after his flight was delayed by the snow. When we got to the house that morning I found him on his knees in front of his dad's old gun cabinet showing his grandson Bryce some of the cool gear his dad kept in there. I thought it was a pretty cool scene. I could tell that everyone was waiting to see how I'd deal with the situation, but I'd known coming up there that we would eventually meet, and I was cool with it. I was kind of jealous when he took Bryce out and showed him how to shoot a pellet gun. I'd always wanted to have that sort of relationship with my own grandfather, but it never materialized. In the end, it was time for us to leave to catch our flight. We got our gear together and said our goodbyes. I got hugs from just about everyone and gave her ex a firm hand shake, and we left for the airport.
It was a very emotional departure for me, because I'd grown used to being in that house and felt like I was home there. The feelings were similar to those I'd had when I left Mushy's place after hanging out with him for a week last August. I felt like I was home, but I also wanted to get back to Texas and sleep in my own bed, shower in my own super sized shower, and get the chance to wake up slowly with the woman I love on a lazy morning or two before starting school again.
The flight home started out with the two of us being bumped to Business Class! She noted that our seat numbers were 1A and 1B. I told her that they'd probably run out of numbers and started again and we'd end up at the ass end of the plane. I consoled her with the fact that planes rarely back into mountains. Then we got on the plane and found our seats right up front. What a shock! The snacks and drinks came easily. They spoiled us to the point where our regular seats on the plane from Memphis to Dallas seemed extra small and cramped.
In the end we were happy to see that our bags arrived in Dallas at the same time we did. The three hour drive from D/FW Airport to Killeen was uneventful, and we managed to climb into the sack at around 2:30AM. Home Sweet Home.
Thanks for comin' along on this journey with me. Now it's back to the regular shit you're used to from me; music, guns, and Friday night Chinese food with dad, which, by the way I'll be enjoying tonight as usual. We've got plans to meet another blogger in Austin Saturday night and feast at Pappasito's, so there'll be lots of juicy food pictures up here soon. I'll see ya later. Cheers.
Friday, January 11, 2008
The family and Christmas.
Posted by FHB at 8:15 AM
Labels: christmas and the family, finishing up
13 comments:
Looks like a heck of a nice family.
Seems they are pretty fond of you as well.
great family, love the shadow box.
Man can you ever tell a story! It looks like you really had a nice time, and I am so very happy for you that you did. Maybe one day your house will be filled like that for Christmas...
FHB,
Can't wait to see you again and meet Denise on Saturday. See you then!
What a bloody great blog to read! I really felt as though I was there with you in that house with all those lovely people. The photo's you posted are excellent. I was sorry to hear about Todd, such an awful thing to happen to anyone, to lose their parents and now to be fighting in a pointless war.
How fabulous it must have been to feel the spirit of a passed soul with you, I am sure he would have been enjoying the festivities just as much as you all were.
Crystal xx
What a beautiful crew! And wonderful folks on the inside, as well as out, from what you've written, Jeff.
re: Only another vet who's been there could really understand and be respected in that role. I tried to let him know that I understood why he was feeling the way he was, and that everyone was proud of him, but I felt very inadequate to the task, and I'm sure the things I said sounded trite.
Anything anyone amongst us vets would, or could, say in this situation could come off as trite, IMHO. No matter where you've been or what you've done in the past, you're not in this young man's shoes unless you happen to be on active duty... and have served in the Sandbox. I'm absolutely sure... positive, in fact... that your words helped, Jeff. I'm also quite sure none of us could have done better.
I saw these on Flickr, but it's nice to have the "blow by blow" to go with them.
I was scrolling through when you called. Good to hear from you.
Man, I feel "full to the gills" after this visit! And I should've stopped drinkin' the punch about an hour earlier...!
All I can say is "Wow, wow, wow - what a Christmas!" Thanks for taking us along!
Good Friday night reading.....no football, no college basketball...took my time to read the whole thing!
Lots of stuff in that post to comment upon, but the two that stuck out were the fact that the matriarch of the family was really everyone's step-mom. My step-dad was like that as well, and if it had been my mom that passed first, then we would've been the same way -- I don't think anyone would've realized he wasn't our biological dad. It amazes me to think that he took on four kids of another man's family and treated them as if they were his own.
Your story about Todd was sad, though since I've never served, I don't really have anything smart to say either. I hope he comes back safely.
Nice snapshot of you and Denise in front of the tree. I still have the first one taken of my husband and myself the year we began dating.
And that puppy is adorable!
What a great conclusion to the Christmas trip pictures! Looks and sounds like a wonderful get together with a bunch of great folks. I'm so glad y'all had such a fun time and that they all accepted you! lol
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