Friday, June 29, 2007

Q&A time, and another Friday trip to Dynasty.

Recently went over to the Shrinkwrapped Scream, and read a post she wrote answering questions put to her by another blogger. Kind of a meme, but different. Her answers were great. She said if anyone was game, to speak up and send her a comment. I did, and she emailed me these questions.

My job now is to answer her questions and then pass this thing on to anyone who desires to be grilled. So, here we go. My answers are in blue. Her first question:

1) Let's begin with a little background. I know you grew up as a military brat. Did that mean your father was often absent? If so, what impact, if any, did it have upon family dynamics? Were you closer to anyone in particular there? On average, what was the longest time you stayed in one house? Did you ever get boarded? If so, did you enjoy that experience?

Holy shit! Is that all one fuckin' friggin' question? Ok, first of all, my dad was in the Air Force, so we went where he went. If he'd been in the Navy or Merchant Marine, or if he'd gone to Vietnam, we would have had long periods without him, but the way things were, he basically had a 9 to 5 job. He drove to the base in the morning and then home for dinner in the evening. We just lived in a foreign country while some of this was going on. Mom ran the house and took care of us, and dad was the bread winner. They saw it as a partnership, and it mostly worked out well.

We lived in England from 67 to 70, but the rest was in the US, in places like Nebraska, Missouri, and Texas. I was born in Bermuda, at the Kinley Air Force Base hospital, in 1960. My sister was born in England, during my families first tour there in the early '50s.

Longest time we were anywhere during dads career was maybe 3 years. Then, after he retired, we spent 18 years in Ft. Worth, living on the southwest side of town.

I guess I was closer to mom as a kid, but really, I don't remember being too close to any of them. I was a loner, in my room most of the time, in my own world. We were (my sis and I) just beginning to get the hang of living there, making friends, when we were picked up and moved to Missouri. Starting over was rough, but that was our life.

Some people deal with that by learning to be more gregarious and outwardly fun loving (sis) and some by shutting into themselves (me).
Got used to living that way, and I'm only now trying to learn how to work my way out of it. No boarding schools for me, but it might have been a good thing.

2) An extension of no.1 really. What is your adult relationship like with your family? Do you all live near to each other? How did you choose to settle where you did? Are you settled, or can you see yourself living elsewhere at some point?

We've been through a lot together, the Wilson clan, and we're still a tight little unit. Sis jokes about how no one else is allowed in, trying to explain why nether of us have been able to have much of a successful social life. She left home at 19, getting away from the folks in a rage over stuff that seems stupid now, but I got along with the folks pretty well.

I was in school or working most of the time, and did my own cooking and cleaning, laundry included, but I stayed at home till I was about 30. I lived at home through college and grad school, and then got the job in March of '90, living and working on Navy ships that were deployed around the world, but all my stuff was still with Mom and Dad.

I loved the hell out of that job. Sailed or flew around the world several times, seeing a war and a lot of other eye opening things. I grew up a hell of a lot in the process. When my folks decided in the summer of '93 to move from Ft. Worth to Temple, to be close to my ailing maternal Grandmother, they moved all my stuff there too. I looked into teaching on the base here while I was between cruises, went out on one more ship, and then started teaching on Ft. Hood part time in January of '94.

Lived with the folks while I made car payments on the new Jeep (was makin' about 16 or 18 grand a year then), payin' it off as quick as I could, and then moved out in the summer of '97 to go back to school in San Marcos, to get qualified to teach more classes. Been out of their house since then, but still see them all the time. Take Dad to eat Chinese food every Friday night, and see Mom on Fridays and usually on the weekend.

After staying away for a long time, Sis has moved closer to be near the folks as they get older, and she and I are still single. I'll be here, teachin' on Ft. Hood, as long as they are alive. When they both go, It'll be a wrenching experience, breaking a connection that is basic to my existence, but I've grown pretty strong since I flew off to Naples on that first teaching job, and I know I'll make it through, with the help of good friends. Then, who knows? Think some times about selling everything and going out on the ships again. Seeing the world again. Who knows?


3) What was your first paid job? What did you see yourself doing when you first left school? What are you doing now, and what would be your dream job? Oh, one more (I can fit as many sub-questions as I like in here, we're playing by my rules now, my friend) did you ever follow in your fathers footsteps and join the military, and if not, why not?

My first paying Job? I had a job at a local Revco drug store in high school, and then one at the Seminary South Cinema in Ft. Worth. Nether lasted too long. I was a scared little puppy, and didn't deal well with crowds or anything else back then. I made some money for a while mowing lawns, and then I started getting VA money in college, from Dad's retirement pension, and that allowed me to avoid the inevitoble for a while.

Then I found out about a tour to the Soviet Union, run out of the Russian language department at UTA (I took Russian in school). My folks told me if I wanted to go, I'd have to get a job and raise the $2000 myself. I found a great job through a buddy as a security guard at an oil company named Gearhart Industries, off I-35 on the south side of Ft. Worth. Put the VA money in the bank along with most of the money that Gearhart payed me. I kept that job for years. They basically payed me to sit and study, and drive a cool old LTD around the place and jam.

Loved the midnight shift that first year. Cool nighttime temps in the Texas summers, and very few people to mess with ya. Eventually I went on that tour, and spent 5 weeks in Europe, including 2 1/2 weeks in the Soviet Union (summer of '83). When I got back, I moved to the 4-12 shift. I learned a lot about other people, and myself, in those years. Had that job till the place went under during the oil glut of the mid '80s. Still see the place every time I drive up I-35 to Ft. Worth to see friends. Lots of good memories there.

A little while later, while I was in grad school, I got a job as a night shift security guard at the Colonial Country Club. That place was a trip, I wanna tell ya. Rich people are crazy, and a huge pain in the ass. Had the keys to all the walk-ins and was there all night, mostly by myself. Perfect job for a fat hairy shut-in. I started working out at a gym while I worked there, and while I finished grad school. I lost a lot of weight and got stronger, and felt a bit better about myself, actually had a girlfriend for a while, but nothing came of it. I still mostly stayed to myself, and didn't let her get close. I missed out on a lot of fun in my 20s and 30s, because I was so painfully shy. Wish I knew the hell why, but there's no going back and fixing it.

When I got my Masters in History, I put out a lot of resumes, trying to get a job teaching History at a community college. After about a year, the folks at Central Texas College called, wanting me to fly off to Naples, Italy and get on a destroyer, the USS Thorn. Scared the piss out of me, but I did it anyway. I almost turned around and flew home half way through the trip over, but made myself do it, and ended up having a great time. I loved the hell out of that job. It changed my life. I felt real confidence for the first time. Felt like a grown-up for the first time. Think I got real respect from my father for the first time.

Today I teach History and Government for Central Texas College and Tarleton State University. I'm still officially part-time, but get all the benefits of a full time teacher, and make as much money, or more, than a full time professor. Just have to teach more classes to do it. As far as my dream job, It'd probably be the one I have now, only makin' a LOT more money and workin' a lot less. Well, ether that or playin' slide guitar in a blues band, or piano in a cat house.

And no, I never joined the military, though I did do two years in ROTC in college. If I had it to do over again, 18 again, being the man I am now, I think I'd enjoy the hell out of it. The kid I was back then though, they'd a eaten me alive. I'm a very different person now.

4) Who was your first love, how old were you, how did you meet, are you still together, and if not, why? When was the last time you saw her?

Back in England, just before we were sent home to the states, I began to come out of my shell a bit. Had a few friends, and some of them were horny as hell. I was in a strip club for a while; little kids (8 or 9 years old), goin' out in the woods and showing the others what we had. Show and tell. One girl, don't remember her name, showed us everything, and we hit it off. We crawled into a bush once or twice and rubbed asses, not knowin' what the hell we were doin'. I think If we'd stayed in England for another few years, I might have lost it in about the 5th or 6th grade. Those girls were crazy. Her mom found out about it all and I never saw her again.

Anyway, a while later, just before we left town, my heart was broken by the little girl next door. Her name was Marsha.
I hung out with her for a long time and we did everything together, till one day I saw her with another girl, sitting on the grass, watching the other kids play ball. I walked up to her and tried to talk to her, but she just flat out told me that she wasn't going to play with me any more. I was stunned. I went back the house, climbed to the top of the wooden fence that separated our yards, and I cried my eyes out.

Her dad came out and asked me what was wrong, and I told him "Marsha doesn't love me any more." I was fucking destroyed. He didn't say much. Turned around and walked back in the house. My mom told me later that she suspected that her folks had told her to stop playing with me. Didn't want their little Catholic daughter getting to close to the Protestant kid next door. Shit, I didn't know one from the other, but I think I learned to stay to myself from then on. Being out there was too painful.

Believe it or not, that was it for romance. We moved to Missouri, and I went back in my shell. We moved a few more times, and I think I missed out on whatever stage of socialization that teaches you how to relate to others and be a normal human being. In stead I learned how to fake it, and got pretty good at it. Still tryin' to work my way out of all that crap today, with the help of some friends. It's the one thing I still have left to learn about being a fully human being.

Met someone recently; British, ex service wife, administrator at the college. She's a bit older, but still very well preserved. Sweet as hell, and smart. Found out tonight we have the same birthday! What the hell are the odds of that? We'll see what happens.

5) Money is no object, you have given to the charities and causes you support, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?

If I didn't have to work, and could do anything? Dude, the fish would all be in sooooo much trouble. I'd do nothing but travel the world, fishing and canoing, and seeing friends.

I'd rent one of those huge yachts and pay for all my blogger buds to sail to Alaska, or Fiji, or wherever.

I'd buy about 500 acres on the edge of a national park in northeast New Mexico and live like a king. Live simple, self-sustaining, off the grid, but very well. I'd have a place in the Hill Country of Texas too, and Alaska. Damn, I can spend imaginary money like a fool.

Seriously, I'd probably get a PhD in History just for the hell of it, and then spend the rest of my life taking care of my friends. We'd do all the stuff we ever dreamed of doing, and I'd pay the bills. What the hell else is money for?


Well, that's more crap about me than anyone ever needed to know. Question is, do YOU want to be interviewed?

Interview rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Ok folks, who's on first?

Well, It's Friday, so you know what I'll be doing tonight. I'll take dad out to eat Chinese, visit with mom for a while, and then probably look up that new friend. New wrinkle on the old routine. It'll take some getting used to, but I think I can handle it.

11 comments:

Shrink Wrapped Scream said...

Oooh, I am SO glad I asked! I feel I know you so much better now.. thanks for taking the time to post this, I think it was well worth the effort, and I'm sure everyone else in here will agree.

Ha, sounds like British 'gals still have something going for them, eh? I'm proud of you my man - this new lady appears to be "Top Totty", as they say over here. Enjoy your evening.

FHB said...

Shrinky - Thanks for asking. I'm continually amazed at how therapeutic this blogging can be, and how cool the friends are that you can accumulate. And yes, British girls are HOT! Present company included. Known that ever since Emma Peel (Diana Rigg) put on that leather outfit for me in about '67.

*Goddess* said...

I'm wondering how you can be shy and teach classes? I consider myself to be shy and if I had to stand in front of a room full of people and talk every day, I'd piss my pants.

Dick said...

Nice insight, though it seems I knew much of this already from reading your page so long.
Go for it. I'll play.

none said...

Sounds like you came out pretty good. Night security at a country club sounds like an awesome job.I could go for that!

You're one of the few that I've heard that actually likes their current job but yeah fishing and yachting sound pretty good too. Reserve me a seat. :)

FHB said...

Goddess - Yes, that was a HUGE thing at first when I tought on the ships, but I was amazed how quickly I got over it. I'm very confident in front of a class now. Rule the room, but when it comes to personal intimacy, allowing myself to be close and vulnerable to someone who is sitting in front of me (as opposed to here on the computer) I still have issues, but I'm working on it.

Dick - Yea, I was tempted to just make referance to earlier posts. Realize I probably talk about this shit too much, and need to go back to posting fatty friday shots. People are probably tired of hearing about my childhood, and I'm certainly tured of talking about it. I'll email ya when I come up with somethin'.

Hammer - Yea, I loved that job. Rich people are crazy, I wanna tell ya. I'll do a post some time.

fuzzbert_1999@yahoo.com said...

Learned a few new things, but I've been here a while.

Didn't know about the current gal...that's just too cool...I want details later!

Love ya dude...you are a hoot!

Lin said...

If you want to sample the NM outback life early, I can probably get Slim to lend you his cabin when he's not there with the cattle. Then you can wander on down here to hear us scrap over the latest projects. We do eat very well - you'd like that, too.
Give Dad a hug for me and enjoy the rest of the evening, too (J-U-S-T relax, that's all).

Christina RN LMT said...

Thanks for all the cool insight, and BTW, nobody is getting sick of hearing about your childhood, and that's because you're such a good writer.
For some reason, I have a hard time picturing you as shy, but I understand how powerful a tool the internet is when it comes to non face-to-face communication.
Anonymity is attractive!
Good luck with your British lady, I looooove accents!

cathy said...

dropped by from hammer's to see what kind of a turnip calls himself a fathairybastard.

You'd fit right in in Greece.None of the men here can relate to women.Keep working on it:)

J said...

oh oh I want to play!! Man you have fun blogs sometimes. So, interview me. Yay I love it.

And by the way, I like your serious blogs. After readying each and every solitary blog you have written in 2 days, I can honestly say that your blogs about YOU are the most interesting and touching ones. I wish I had the guts to talk about myself.

I await your response...