No, hell no that's not me!

Just imagine how much crack you'd have to smoke before
that tattoo became a good idea, and how much you'd have
to do to keep that lookin' like a good idea through all that
painful tattooing.

Having said that though, I'd have to admit it's about the
funniest looking, and one of the most ingenious tat designs
I've seen so far. Thing is, I'm basically a big baby. I don't
think I could bring myself to even have a conventional tattoo
without serious chemical inducement. Serious! The whole
thing about sobering up and discovering it, and then it's
there till you get the courage up to have it burned off.

Naaa. Not the kid.

Now, one of those Hollywood tattoos for the movies, one that's
painted on over 10 hours or somethin' and looks just like
the real thing, really elaborate and shocking, but that you
can wash off in the end... I'm totally game for that.

Head down to Terlingua for the next chili cook-off and walk
around shirtless, drinking a beer as some woman's elaborately
appointed labia majora winks at everyone passing by.

"Good evening ma'am. Nice day. What? No, that's not a taco salad."

Me? Well, I'm more of a classical art fan. Give me one of the
old masters any day, The subtle tones, the graceful lines,



and the big purple phallus? D'ow!