Some quotes on the process.

"To win a woman in the first place one must please her, then undress her, then somehow get her clothes back on her. Finally, so that you will allow you to leave her, you must annoy her."
- Jean Giraudoux.

"She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to."
-Gypsy Rose Lee, talking about a pretentious chorus girl.

Hamlet: "Lady, shall I lie in your lap?"
Ophelia: No, my lord."
Hamlet: "I mean, my head uppon your lap?"
Ophelia: "Aye, my lord."
Hamlet: "Do you think I mean country matters?"
Ophelia: "Think nothing, my lord."
Hamlet: "That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs."
-Shakespeare.

"Oh, John, let's not park here."
"Oh, John, let's not park."
"Oh, John, let's not."
"Oh, John, let's."
"Oh, John."
"Oh."
- Anonymous American folklore.

"Infidelity, that infallible rejuvenator, calms the fear of growing old. In spite of our decreasing charms we sweep young people off their feet, for young people do not understand themselves, and fortunitely for us, can still be hypnotized by those who do."
-Cyril Connolly.

Stiff standing on the bed,
First it's white and then it's red.
There's not a lady in the land
That would not take it in her hand.
- Old English riddle (answer: a carrot)

"Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands... and all you can do is scratch it."
-Sir Thomas Beecham, to an untalented female cellist.